• Can you really ‘jinx’ something good by talking about it before it happens?

    Earlier in the day, I saw a post by former presidential aide Reno Omokri advising women against showing off their baby bumps or having baby showers.  According to him,  when women “flaunt” their baby bumps, they attract negative human spirits. While I deliberately ignore Reno’s blatant misogyny and often shared borderline delusional conspiracy theories, for the sake of this conversation, I want to explore this common sentiment I have heard from when I was a child. This idea that if something good is about to happen, like maybe a job, a new baby, a contract or even a new relationship, you’ll somehow ‘jinx’ it if you share the news before it actually…

  • Will You Attend My Funeral?

    In loving memory. Loving Daughter, Distant Cousin, Niece, Friend and what else? I’ve been thinking about my funeral lately. It looks like it’s going to be a sad affair. I will be the sad one. Sad; not just because I died, but because a good percentage of the miserably few people there will be there because it’s some kind of obligation. Some people have to be there to represent the family, and then who? People have their lives right? They’ll send thoughts and prayers to my family members they’ve never met, post my picture on their WhatsApp status for 24 hours and if I’m so lucky, I’ll get an Instagram…

  • Wanting The Sadness To Go

    I have thought about how to put this into words and there’s no other word than this one phrase: “It hurts”. It hurts like an open wound. When I found out I was pregnant in the early weeks of this year, It was the happiest and the scariest day of my life. But I was proud of myself. I felt like I had finally achieved something worth being proud of. (this might not make sense to you but for me, being a mother has been something I had wanted and waited for, for a long time) I felt like everything was finally working out. I felt blessed and I couldn’t…

  • Intimidation Is Nigerian.

    “Do you know who I am?” If you’re Nigerian, you’ve probably said this to someone or someone has said it to you at some point. Meant to intimidate, to silence and to generate deference to whatever unsavory and/or illegal act from the maker of the statement. That is the language of the Nigerian. Intimidation. We speak it, we understand it, we use it, we do not question it until we become the victims. And then, we turn around and do it to the next person. the bullied becoming the bully. We do it to each other. Someone owes you money and you pay a couple of policemen to arrest your…

  • I’m Snatching My Life Back

    Long time no read. While I can’t say my long absence has been deliberate, it turned out it was needed. I couldn’t help it anyway. Have you ever felt so overwhelmed with life in general? like things were happening so fast you couldn’t keep up? That’s what the past month or so, have felt like for me. As you know, I left my old job before Christmas and I moved into a new role somewhere else, less than a week later. It has been a roller coaster ever since. I have been physically, mentally and emotionally tired but I am on the good road to recovery. I have received good…

  • About Comedy Shows And Rape Jokes…

    I love comedy shows. Because I love to laugh. I attend Naija comedy events not just for the jokes (80% of which I’ve heard before) but for the thrill of dressing up nicely and meeting other nicely dressed people and of course, “showing face” in one or two industry event. Lately, even the thrill of dressing up is beginning to wan, with the increasingly distasteful, insensitive and sometimes downright offensive jokes the audience is being served. Some of these shows are branded “family” shows and are sponsored by “family” brands.  What this means is that minors can attend and certain values are expected to be promoted.