• This Thing About Forgiveness..

    Forgiveness cannot be forced. You can’t coerce or guilt people into forgiving. We all deal with pain differently and take time to process differently. I don’t advice people, preach or worse, guilt trip people with religious quotes into forgiving those who have wronged them. I used to do that. But not anymore. Why? Because I hate it when it’s done to me, and truth is, it doesn’t work. One more thing we need to understand about forgiveness is, choosing to let go of the pain doesn’t mean wanting to go back to the way things were. Some relationships are not meant to be repaired. Family, friends, lovers, whatever you were…

  • A little Thought About Feeling ‘Used’…

    For a long time, I had a problem with “being used.” You know that situation where people come to you for reasons that benefit them alone. From “picking your brain” for ideas, to asking you to use your skills and sometimes providing your intellectual property. Your time, energy, sometimes emotional labour is spent and when they’ve gotten what they wanted, it’s like you don’t exist. I used to feel bad about this. I don’t anymore. You see, I’ve come to view life from a different perspective. Someone once said “people only come to a tree that has fruits” Nobody gives a rat about an empty individual. So when I get…

  • Re-Fixing Your Focus..

    The feeling of loss is not a good feeling; loss of a job, a loved one or a prized possession. Sometimes we mourn that which we have lost with so much energy and passion; especially after we seemed to have done all that is in our power to do to prevent it from happening. From intense pain to grief to numbness, and sometimes even resentment, we feel it all. But we don’t heal as long as we continue to focus on what has been lost. There is a time and season for everything. Recognise when it’s time to move to a new season; A season of healing and rest. This…