• LISTEN: The Nuances Of Helping Survivors of Intimate Partner Violence

    Intimate partner violence is one of the most common forms of violence against women and includes physical, sexual, and emotional abuse and controlling behaviours by an intimate partner. Intimate partner violence1 (IPV) occurs in all settings and among all socioeconomic, religious and cultural groups. IPV refers to any behaviour within an intimate relationship that causes physical, psychological or sexual harm to those in the relationship. While we work to help survivors leave the situation and environment of abuse, what happens in cases where abusers ask for help & their victims do not want to leave the relationship? Nigerian Broadcast Journalist, Nelly Kalu and I discuss this on my radio show.…

  • I Deserve To Talk Anyhow, Dress Anyhow And Live Anyhow

    I listened to an excerpt of Sandra Ezekwesili’s radio show where she was discussing Nigeria’s increased rate of sexual assault on women. A man called into the program to say that the reason why men rape women is that “they talk anyhow” when approached or propositioned by men. At that moment, my head spun and my chest tightened in outrage. But Sandra asked the question that burned through my mind. She said “If you as a man talk anyhow to a fellow man, do you expect to get raped?” You already know what the answer was.     You know why my chest tightened when I heard that man’s words?…

  • A Thin Line Between Fame And Infamy

      “Glory is like a circle in the water, which never ceaseth to enlarge itself, till, by broad spreading, it disperse to naught.” – Shakespeare  I have never been famous. Probably will never be. So I can’t possibly pretend to know exactly how famous people think or exactly what their realities actually are. That being said, I have seen, read about, interacted and worked with famous people and I do know that there’s something about being known and being adored and almost hated in equal measure by hundreds of thousands of people that affects the way you see the world, the way you see people and the way you see…

  • I Can Handle This Moment

      If someone had prophesied the first quarter of the year 2020 to me, I would have thrown a glass of water in the person’s face and called the person a false prophet. As we wrap up the first 4 months of this year, it feels like I’ve gone through the entire year already. And I know I’m not alone here. We’re currently in the middle of a global health pandemic, an economic recession and everyone is living in uncertainty. Like you, I started this year with hope and expectations. I had it all mapped out. What I didn’t bargain for however was the emotional and psychological blow that was…

  • Longsuffering. The Nigerian Man’s Definition Of A Good Woman

    LONGSUFFERING DEFINITION: “having or showing patience in spite of troubles, especially those caused by other people.” The Nigerian man’s definition of a good woman is the “longsuffering” woman. The one who will take every bullshit, tolerate bad behaviour, live with disrespect and disloyalty. The one who can be lied to and is guaranteed to not ask questions. The one who will labour and grow old and brittle, still labouring without compensation or acknowledgement, help, relief or appreciation because she’s been told it’s her duty to labour. It’s what is expected. The one who will endure verbal, emotional, psychological and even physical abuse because she’s been told a ‘a good woman’…

  • Will You Attend My Funeral?

    In loving memory. Loving Daughter, Distant Cousin, Niece, Friend and what else? I’ve been thinking about my funeral lately. It looks like it’s going to be a sad affair. I will be the sad one. Sad; not just because I died, but because a good percentage of the miserably few people there will be there because it’s some kind of obligation. Some people have to be there to represent the family, and then who? People have their lives right? They’ll send thoughts and prayers to my family members they’ve never met, post my picture on their WhatsApp status for 24 hours and if I’m so lucky, I’ll get an Instagram…

  • My Safety Advisory For #DettyDecember

    It’s that time of the year again. When men and women, boys and girls come out to dance, play and party. If you have worked hard this year, you definitely deserve to turn up and groove. While you’re grooving however, let’s not forget we live among predators and rattlesnakes wearing human skin. While we have laboured this year to teach consent, educate and inform, pray and even persuade men not to assault us, let’s not leave our safety in the hands of men who have been raised to not care about our well-being. As you go out this season, make sure you have a fully charged cell phone with data…

  • Ending Violence Against Women Is Not “Feminist Work”; It’s Survival Work

      This morning, a young man who had set fire to his girlfriend was caught by neighbors. The girl was rescued with 70% of her body covered in 3rd degree burns. I watched the video in horror and while I’m clearly enraged by the injustice of it all, I am also filled with intense sadness at the inhumanity displayed. Once again, I am reminded (not that I need reminding) of why no woman can afford to sit on the sidelines on the issue of ending violence against women. This behavior didn’t happen in a vacuum. It is not unexplainable. It comes from a deeply rooted belief in the ‘ownership’ and…

  • About Jack Dorsey And His Nose Ring In Lagos

    Twitter CEO, Jack Dorsey, has been in Lagos for a few days and he recently visited the university of Lagos and met with the Vice Chancellor in his office, where he was warmly welcomed by the school’s Management Team. This is a good thing for the school because the school was able to show off some of it’s tech programs and Jack participated in a small interractive session with select students. Great stuff. The thing is though; Jack wears a nose ring. Jack has tattoos. Why is that important?

  • LOLO 1 PRESENTS; ALERO. THE MUSICAL

    Nigerian actress and media personality; Omotunde Adebowale-David, popularly known as ‘Lolo 1’, presents her first stage musical; titled ALERO. It tells of the story of Alero, a village girl that comes to the city full with hopes and dreams, but at every turn is frustrated into giving up and losing hope. Alero The Musical, is about believing, staying focused and succeeding without losing your soul, empathy and heart. The show’s main objective, is to ignite the desire to succeed in young people. Lolo’s experience in stage productions date as far back as 2012 , when she produced the maiden edition of “OGA MADAM LIVE ON STAGE WITH LOLO 1 ”…

  • I Didn’t Make Science Class; But I’m Here & I’m Winning!

    When I was growing up and in secondary school, it was not ‘cool’ to want to study anything outside medicine, law, engineering or accounting. Subjects like literature and history, were seen to be cheap and a cop out of ‘serious’ subjects like physics and chemistry and mathematics. Students like me were not particularly seen as smart because we were not in ‘science class’. To be in science class was to be in an elite group of ‘intelligent students’. The ones who will gain admissions to university. It was a thing parents even bragged with. “Tolu is in science class. He’s going to study medicine.” Being put in ‘arts class’ was…

  • Start Your Radio Career! Register For The Radio Master Class Today.

    Do you want to take classes in basic radio presentation and podcasting? A New session of The  Radio Masterclass starts in September. Here are answers to the FAQs 😊 1. Classes open Saturday September 7th. 2. Classes run on Saturdays for 5 Saturdays. from 9am – 4pm 3. Students will get a 2 weeks minimum internship opportunity with our media partners 4. Certificate is given to All students. 5. Classes hold at 51 Hughes avenue, alagomeji Yaba, LAGOS 6. Course materials will be given to all registered students 7. Basic educational requirement for training: SSCE certificate 8. Training fee is N30,000 9. Registration is OPEN NOW. REGISTER AND MAKE PAYMENT by…

  • Did @BrymOlawale Bring It At Terra Arena Last Night? Yup! He ‘Brung’ It All Right!

    It’s an open secret that BRYMO lovers will follow him to the ends of the earth if need be; and so it’s not really news that Terra Arena was packed out last night. But then, there’s something else. The crowd was slightly different from the #OrganisedChaos crowd. There were scatterings of expatriates and more than a good number of ‘over 40s’; but great music is a leveler as we all grooved, yelled, danced and sang along.

  • RWANDA STAND UP! #IkazeNight Is Back!!

    On the 11th of July at the Kigali Exhibition Conference Village, Africa’s largest performing arts festival will be opened with a special night of music, dance and various forms of performing arts by artistes from all over the continent and beyond. This year, Uganda’s Queen of Afro Soul; Lilian Mbabazi will headline the show and will be supported by Alexander Star from the United States, ‘Under The Surface’ from the Netherlands, Unidance from Rwanda, The Street Dancers Company from DRC and my personal favorites; The Rwanda National Ballet. If you are in the east africa region this July, this is one event you do not want to miss. Ubumuntu Arts Festival…

  • Shyness Is Not A Virtue. “Quiet” Is Not A Compliment.

    “pushy”, “forward”, “demanding”. Words  usually accociated with women who are not hesitant about asking for what they want. It’s society’s way of keeping women under and behind. It’s been perfected for decades such that girls are socialized from early on, to not ask for what they want but to pretend they don’t want it while using all sorts of roundabout “schemes” hoping to get it.