• Did You Miss The #AGACultureSeries yesterday? Let me tell you all about it!

    When my friend Dolapo Aina asked if I would be interested in attending an art exhibition on Sunday July 18th, I said yes of course I would. If we’re keeping it a buck, mainly because my social life has a -0 rating and I was beginning to feel like a hobo, cooped up at home with nobody asking me to go anywhere 😃 A week to the event, I checked out the exhibition and the hosts on social media and I was glad I did. It turns out to be exactly the kind of scene that gives me joy. Sunday came and It was truly satisfying. Packaged by Circuit.NG, the…

  • This is why you’re bad at giving head

    I don’t think I have written explicitly about sex like this on this blog before. Not that anything has been stopping me, I’ve just never considered putting my thoughts out here before (especially since I sometimes share my opinion on other platforms). Well, now, I have a few things to say and i have decided to say them here. A man once said to me that he considers himself quite good at eating p**sy. (Don’t ask me what we were talking about or how we got to that subject). Anyway, when he said that, I smiled to myself because as a 30+ Nigerian woman whose dating/sexual history involves Nigerian men…

  • ‘How Do You Marry Your Enemy?’

    I was telling a friend and her hubby how I’ve felt and still feel triggered when I hear women thank their husbands for “allowing” them follow their dreams and meet their potentials. They said I was naive. That if he doesn’t “allow” it, you can’t be/do it. Am I reaching for expecting that spouses should have intelligent and rational conversations on how to enable each other move forward and do better?My friend said, “forget your partner is being so supportive now, and hope he doesn’t change completely”. And know that this support he’s giving you now, you may no longer get it when you’re married, lower your expectations on that…

  • Ubumuntu Arts Festival returns with ‘REBIRTH’

    Africa’s premier performing arts event for social change, Ubumuntu Arts Festival, is returning this year to celebrate humanity with artists from over 18 countries.  This year, the festival will connect the world through a virtual event aimed at delivering meticulously curated art performances and showcases, to a global audience.  In 2020, due to the effects of the COVID-19 pandemic, the now seven year old festival was changed to Ubumuntu virtual arts festival and was live-streamed.  Continuing this year, the festival themed; REBIRTH,  will run for two days for about six hours in total from July 16th-17th 2021 and will be streamed live on the Ubumuntu Youtube Channel as well as…

  • ‘I didn’t think I was going to be the mom of one; Now I have two boys’ – Toolz

    Losing a child is traumatic enough but losing a child and believing it’s your fault is worse. On this week’s episode of #WithChude, media personality Tolu Oniru, popularly known as Toolz, opens up to host Chude Jideonwo about dealing with the loss of her first pregnancy, her father’s death and a COVID infected family.  Going from making full-blown plans to decorate a nursery to receiving the incapacitating news that she will never hold her child was far more than the Celebrity could bear.   Recounting this experience, she said, “The doctor walked up to me and said, ‘I don’t think your baby is going to survive another week.’ I remember…

  • Nobody Wants You: Recovering from abandonment anxiety

    Nobody wants you.Nobody really likes you.Nobody loves you.People will always leave you. Negative words but a recurring theme I’ve been fighting since I became self-aware. I didn’t always know I was telling myself these things, or that  I was believing them and internalizing them; I used to think I was protecting myself from getting hurt. I didn’t know how badly I was hurting myself. I was a child of abandonment. Both physically and emotionally. Read about it  -> HERE Abandonment anxiety is a thing and I struggled with it for a long time; In life and in relationships. To a degree, I still do. The difference is, now I know…

  • Yomi Fabiyi Is Yoruba Nollywood Scapegoat Today, But The Problem Is Bigger

    Like the hundreds of thousands of other people on social media today, I watched the video of Nollywood Yoruba actress, Iyabo Ojo calling out one of their own, Yomi Fabiyi, for his attempt at defending a rapist actor who was arrested recently. Read Story Here: According to Iyabo Ojo, Yomi had asked for ‘evidence’ which was a CCTV recording of the assault on the 14 year old victim. This was Iyabo’s reply to that: This is the part where I must say I’m super impressed that Iyabo is speaking out without mincing words. In an industry that is closeted and cliques abound, stepping out when other colleagues have been silent…

  • I Am Tired Of Raising Awareness

    I woke up with a burst of energy this morning and i decided to put on some music and do some cleaning. While dusting my bookshelf, my eye fell on this hardcover publication shoved somewhere in the back. I took it out and it was my hardback copy of my final year research project. Circa 2005. “The Media And Public Attitude Towards Women And Sexual Violence” That was my project topic to fulfil academic requirements to be able to graduate from the department of Mass Communication, University of Maiduguri. I remember back in 2005, in a northern conservative environment, it wasn’t an easy subject to research or write. Lecturers and…

  • I Used To Hate My Body

    One day I was on the beach with a friend and as we strolled down the ocean’s edge, we looked at other beach goers in bikinis and gossiped about everyone. Of course, we talked about what they wore and the various bodies on display. What I remember about that conversation was when at one point, she said to me “I wish I have your confidence to wear whatever I like”. I remember smiling and saying, it’s because i have literally stopped caring about not just what people think about my body, but what I think too. I smiled to myself because that confidence didn’t come cheap. See, I grew up…

  • How Lagos Theatre Festival 2021 delivered A Reckless Art Weekend

    The virtual community was saturated at the weekend when the largest performing arts festival in Nigeria and West Africa, Lagos Theatre Festival (LTF), held its 8th virtual edition. With its theme:‘RECKLESS ART’; an embodiment of an Out of Bounds movement and the belief that art should be created with reckless abandon and no limits, the festival was replete with inspiring and evocative art. The LTF, founded by the British Council in 2013 as part of its ambitions to foster exchange, collaboration, and strengthen relationships between Nigerian and British artists through the presentation of high quality Nigerian and British theatre, has so far, reached over 770 million people online so it…

  • Davido Was Right; Love Is Sweeter With Money

    Today’s social media argument is about women, love and money. (as usual). This tweet is the root of the argument: I’ve been seeing several ‘hot takes’ from (mostly) women twisting themselves into pretzels trying to prove that money is not usually a factor in who a woman chooses to be with, and I’m personally incensed at the dishonesty of it all. (I call it dishonesty because i don’t want to believe any woman old enough to independently date men in 2021 is naïve like that) Of course money is important. Of course money plays a major role. As much as we like to say and believe that if a woman…

  • Why I’m Happy That Marriages No Longer Last

    I’m very happy that marriages these days no longer last as long as they used to in the days of our parents and grandparents. A lot of marriages were (are) held together by the women. (They even preach about it with all that talk about a woman “keeping her home”) No one ever accuses a man of not being able to “keep his home”. But I digress. Back in those days, a lot of women were not financially independent and they depended on men for provision so they endured unhappy marriages and oftentimes traumatic conditions just to keep a roof over their heads and their children. Even when they had…

  • Welcome To The Horny 30s

    One of the best things about being a 30plus woman is the sexual freedom  and the premium orgasms that come with it. Now, there is no magic wand and an abracadabra spell that suddenly turns things around for you immediately you clock 30, (in fact, some of the changes will happen a few years in) so you need to understand that on some level, you’ll have to work on yourself to turn shit up. That being said, there are certain changes that will occur because of your unique biology as a woman and you’ll learn quickly enough to enjoy it and take advantage of it. University of Texas psychologist, David…

  • Nigerian Radio Presenters and The Payola Question

    Once again, the age-old payola question is being debated in the Nigerian Music and Media Industry. Payola; exchanging money for radio airplay. I shared my views about this in an article I wrote in 2013, when the subject came up on social media, with emerging artistes expressing pain and frustration at the unfair system designed to keep radio airplay for only artistes that can afford to plug their music or ones with major label backing. My views from 2013 has not changed; however, a lot has changed in the Industry since then and I have been around, seen and experienced things, talked to various players and I’ll be adding those…

  • About this obsessive fear of the naked woman

    The policing of women’s bodies has always been an issue all around the world. Women’s bodies and the relationship between women’s bodies and culture, customand honour, has been the foundation of violence against women for years Female sexuality and the policing of it continually leads to the shaming of women, the ostracising of women, and the mutilation of women’s bodies. Female genital mutilation, abortion laws, virginity testing, denial of access to birth control, forced abstinence are all ways women’s bodies are policed