These Are The Days Of The Dark Passenger

The first time I heard the phrase “The Dark Passenger”, it resonated with me. I connected.

I connected because I can see it. A constant shadow, hovering in the periphery of my existence, sometimes quire invisible, other times loud and very present. A wave of dark swirling clouds

It’s here. This dark riding companion I can’t seem to kick out.

Believe me I’ve tried.

I’m tired of talking about it because “think more positively,”  “be grateful,”  “seek greater spirituality” “Everyone feels down in the dumps sometimes.” and every other “helpful” prescriptions like that doesn’t exactly help.

Maybe I don’t want any help.

With each passing day, I can feel myself getting sucked in and resistance is a struggle. The shadow is familiar. It’s oblivion. Nothingness.

Days like this I wonder what it would be like to ride this dark wave and let it take me to wherever it will…

Because I’m tired. The business of living is exhausting.