“I’m sorry, you’re not what we’re looking for at this moment”
“We’ve decided to go with someone else”
“We’ll call you back”
“I’ll see what i can do but not making promises though”
“It’s not you, it’s me”
It might come in well phrased sentences and careful words, rejection is rejection and no matter how carefully it’s delivered, it blows and hurts like hell. I’ve been on the receiving end of several of the above sentences and there’s no getting used to it.
As someone who battled with feelings of insecurity for many years, rejection is a huge trigger. The sudden tightening in your chest, the intense sadness, then the endless hours and days of wondering what the f**k is wrong with you and the gradual and almost inevitable slide into depression.
I still hurt deeply when i face rejection. (personally or professionally) but I’ve learned to deal with it way better and i think you can too. It’s a gradual process though.
First, you have to identify the roots. You’ll have to be introspective and be honest with yourself. There’s a reason why you react the way you do. There’s a reason why the fear of rejection paralyses you. for me, it was understanding that i had grown up to internalize and personalize my dad not been there. I took his leaving to mean that he’s rejected me personally and so i interpreted that to mean i was defective in some way. Crazy!
As soon as i figured that out (thanks to some therapy sessions and frankly speaking, the spirit of God), it’s time to feed myself with affirmations and THE TRUTH.
The truth that God loves me, accepts me, has created me for a unique purpose, gifted me with special talents and abilities and preserved a great future for me.
And that’s what you’re going to do. Figure out the roots and feed yourself with the truth.
And i need you to understand that a lot of times, these rejections are not personal. And guess what? even if it is, that someone thinks you’re not a good fit for him or her doesn’t mean you are not perfect for someone else.
If you’re not a good fit for this job, it doesn’t mean you’re not good for a better one.
I have also learned that God directs our lives in such a way that if we are not in the perfect space he wants for us, those rejections will keep coming and when we get to where he wants us to be, BAM! everything clicks like magic.
Check this out:
This is what the Lord says—
your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel:
“I am the Lord your God,
who teaches you what is good for you
and leads you along the paths you should follow.
I have been rejected at job interviews that i knew i was exceptionally qualified for, i have been rejected by humans i loved and trusted that we would have a rosy future but i do not regret any rejection because God kept showing me that something better was in front and he’s proven to be true.
So if you are getting rejections now, know that it’s because the best that is meant for you is still coming. It will sting but it won’t shake your confidence in who you are. Loved by God, accepted by him. Beautiful, creative, intelligent and destined for a great life.