If you grew up a church girl like i did, chances are you were taught (directly or indirectly) to be ashamed of your body and your sexuality.
You were told women’s bodies and clothing can cause men to “stumble” with lust.
You grew up believing it was your responsibility to keep men pure and the way to do this, is to keep your body hidden and unnoticeable as much as possible.
If you were a teenager who filled up too fast, you were viewed with suspicion and consistently preached at about ‘fornication’.
If you were an adult female with noticeable curves, your choice of clothing, will be constantly criticised and every conversation with a male in the church eyed with suspicion.
You cannot see the pastor for counselling without a female present, you cannot be seen or God forbid visit a male church member and you dare not have a vivacious personality or you were branded ‘sinful’.
It sounds unreal and totally absurd doesn’t it?
unfortunately, the church has pushed this narrative and attitude for so many years and so many women have been hurt and some damaged and broken by this.
Teaching young women that their virginity is a ‘gift’ to be given to their husbands and that it is what defines their value as a woman is so harmful because it obliterates the truth that they are worthy and valuable as HUMAN BEINGS created in the image of God; Hymen or not.
Church teaches women to suppress their sexual desires, pretend it doesn’t exist, by emphasising that men are sexual, with large appetites and women are merely to be receptive. As a result, tons of women are living with guilt, ashamed of their own bodies and projecting their insecurities and shame on other women who have the courage to not be defined by the norms or follow the rules.
A woman’s body is not sinful. it’s not something to be hidden in shame. it’s not created to ‘tempt men’ and it is not a stumbling block.
The church should be teaching balanced sexuality and sexual education as a natural human experience, not an act covered up in mystery and secrecy.
The equating of virginity to purity need to stop. Purity of the heart as taught by Jesus have nothing to do with the presence or absence of a hymen.
The systemic shaming of women need to stop!
A woman’s body is made in the image of God; perfect and beautiful.
It should be celebrated, not shamed or hidden.