It’s okay to want to get married. Your desires are good and noble and you shouldn’t be embarrassed about it.
However, in the process of finding someone, it’s a no brainer that you’ll encounter bumps and sometimes climb hills along the way.
The watch word here is GUARD YOUR HEART.
Your heart here refers to the soul. the seat of your emotions. It is precious because it is connected to the core of who you are. If your soul is infected or wounded in anyway, your spirit will inevitably be affected and it will manifest physically in your attitudes and character.
To guard your heart means to protect your soul. to be careful what and who you allow in there.
One thing I’ve discovered on this journey is, because of your desire to be with someone, the tendency to be friends too quickly and to form emotional connections are higher.
I’ve also found out that new male aquintances are mostly scrutinized for their ‘husband’ potentials before anything else.
This is very dangerous and if you’re not careful, you’ll end up married yeah, but to the wrong person.
So how do you guard your heart? how do you protect your soul from entanglements that can derail you from God’s purpose for your life?
It begins with seeing and accepting yourself exactly as God sees and accepts you. measure your associations with the yardstick of God’s value of you.
Watch how you make relationship decisions. Are you afraid that no one else will come along? are you afraid that this is all you’ll get?
Don’t make fear based decisions. Relationships you form out of fear will always devalue you.
Don’t accommodate unnecessary closeness. That’s how emotional connections are formed. Keep friendships casual and when you sense things are getting intense, DEFINE IT. Yes! it’s okay to be that girl who asks the question “what exactly are you about”?
Don’t let any man hover around you without definition.
My final and most reliable check is what i call the “holy spirit microscope”.
It’s simple, once i start getting close to a guy and sense my emotional vulnerability kicking in, i put the friendship under the microscope.
It’s a simple prayer: ‘ Dear Holy Spirit, here’s this new friendship with (mention his name). I feel myself getting emotional. If this friendship will derail me from your purpose, please end it Lord. If not, please help me control my emotions and help me make decisions that will honor you’.
Pray this prayer with sincerity and be willing to let everything go. Then watch what happens.
Since the last relationship i was in ended painfully in June, i have learnt to guard my heart with intense diligence and i’ve seen this prayer work.
The men will come and once i pray, the ones who have no bearing on my purpose will drift away.
Finally a cautionary word: Not every man God brings your way is husband material. watch out for great business connections, opportunities, spiritual mentorship and simply good friendship.
Remember, he’s a man of God, doesn’t mean he’s YOUR man of God.