Overcoming “Not Enough-ness”

I sat around a table with yet another group of women who were confessing feelings of loneliness and shame.

“I feel like I don’t belong anywhere.”

“I see pictures on social media of people hanging out. Why aren’t they including me?”

“When will I get over my teenage insecurities?”

“Why are friendships with women so difficult?”

“I was rejected again.”

“I don’t feel good enough or capable enough to be used powerfully by God.”

From my perspective, every woman around that table was strong, gifted, beautiful, well-liked, outgoing, creative, and generally wonderful. In fact, that happens to be true of most of the women I meet. So if all of the women I know are fabulous, and yet all are plagued by loneliness and insecurity, something isn’t lining up.

I write and speak around the country about overcoming shame in Christ, and no matter the age or season of life, I find that shame and un-belonging—a general sense of “not enoughness” —is plaguing Christian women. This spirit of inadequacy is stealing our joy and freedom both in our relationships with God and in our friendships with other women. Shame and loneliness are robbing us of the power we have to change the world. And the worst part is—we’re allowing it to happen.

It’s time, women, to take back what shame and loneliness are trying to steal from us. Psalm 34:5 says, “Those who look to God are radiant; their faces are never covered in shame.” In other words, if we look to the Lord, we can reclaim our radiance in Him.


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