Being Single In Church Can Be Sometimes Annoying…
Some of you are probably wondering where on earth I’m going with a post like this. Well, hear me out for a moment. Over time, I have been quite uncomfortable with how most churches treat single people. (Especially single women)
I believe the church is a body that caters for people from all works of life and in all stages of life. Children, teenager, young adult, single, married, divorced, widowed…employed, unemployed…etc.
Most churches have programs that cater for these groups and that’s fine. But over time, I have noticed that anytime a “Singles Program” is held, the primary focus of these programs is to discuss relationship, marriage and sex. (Where the same things are said and the same questions are asked over and over again **yawns**) More often than not, it makes me ask “Shouldn’t there be more to life as a single person than looking for a mate”?
I have been to a church where the Pastor invited all the single people up front and asked the whole congregation to pray for them to find a “mate.” I stayed in my seat wondering “What in the world is wrong with being single”? Calling single women out for prayers made it look like being single is some kind of problem that you need special prayers for.
Being single in this present Nigerian society is tough, especially when surrounded by people who are quick to “sympathize” with you and “pray for you”. The last thing single churchgoers need is their pastor further reinforcing the thought they’re already entertaining: “Is there something wrong with me?” Instead, churches should celebrate people at all stages of their lives; God has a purpose for people no matter their marital status. Our job is to help them live into it.
I find it most disturbing when some church pastors insist on match-making the single members of their congregation and before you know it, the church becomes known as a place to meet your significant other—instead of as a place to get closer to God.
Single women already face enough pressure from the society. They don’t need more pressure from the pulpit. Let’s encourage them to serve God without distractions.
1 Corinthians 7:35
I am saying this for your benefit, not to place restrictions on you. I want you to do whatever will help you serve the Lord best, with as few distractions as possible.