I remember it like it was just yesterday. Honestly it’s a little hard to believe it’s been a year already. You know how every end of the year people celebrate and look forward to the New Year with excitement? Well, until this day, Dec 31st 2013, I have never been one of those people.
For the past 3 to 4 years, I looked forward to the New Year with trepidation and anxiety mixed with sadness. I was always anxious, not particularly sure what the New Year will bring. I hid it well though; I had my job as the perfect cover.
So every 31st December, I’ll be in the studio, taking New Year wishes and playing happy music, while nursing an inner sadness almost bordering on depression.
New year’s eve 2012 was the worst of them all. I spent the afternoon at lunch with friends and as we started talking about expectations for the New Year, it suddenly hit me that I was heading in the wrong direction. See before then, I hadn’t stepped into a church for two years, despite the fact that I got born again and raised as a leader in my campus fellowship as far back as 2001.
I had spent about three years of my life living as I pleased, I ignored God, and I deliberately ignored his calling on my life. I got into the entertainment industry, smoked, drank, had indiscriminate sex and partied like it was 1990.
In 2012, I got into a relationship that was so wrong; everyone around me could see it except me. Interestingly, the spirit’s inner witness would prick me at intervals and I would ignore. Until that last day of 2012. As I sat down in the newsroom alone that evening, waiting to go on air, my whole life flashed right before my eyes and I knew it was time to do an about turn.
I picked up the phone and ended the relationship and all that came with it. Trust me, it wasn’t a pleasant thing to do. I cried, I was mightily depressed, I didn’t even know how I did my job, but I guess being a professional helped. Lol!
Anyway, after the stormy clouds, came bright sunshine. I kid you not; it was a long harrowing journey from that night to where I am right now. I will tell you the details later but God was incredibly merciful to me. The first quarter of 2013 was full of battles. Battles within myself, battles with old habits, battles I can’t even begin to talk about. But the spirit of God prevailed.
By the second quarter of 2013, I had found my footing, and I had learnt how to live everyday by grace. So here I am now, excited to see 2014. I can’t stop praising God for his mercy. He has shown me so much love and favor that I don’t have a choice but to share it with everyone. I am so grateful to him. So grateful!